Beautiful hair

If I had to draw a graph of my frequency of blogging, I'm sad to note that it'd look like an exponential decay. Indeed, I started en trombe, and before I knew, I let go little by little, and the result is that it's been like 2 weeks since I've written here. Pire encore, the graph relating my blogging frequency to my hair-pulling-out would be directly proportional :'( I'm feeling all "maths" today, I woke up at 7am (yes, on a Saturday) and I had this urge to come write down here.

We'll go back to where we left. If I correctly recall, last time I wrote, I was to start my 4th-week therapy. I read it on the day I should have, and was determined to do every little exercise described. I think I read once, that someone was so fed up with having to find a good reason for a hair pulled out, that she preferred not to pull out. That made me smile, I was pretty much in the same situation. Meaning that I went from 1-hair-per-day to 0-hair for about 4-5 days in the 4th week. That's not bad.

However, I think I got carried away by my "then-success" and let down my guard.. I don't think there was another reason to that. I'm reaching the end of my internship, and nothing was going as I had planned. I wanted to do my rapport de stage during the last weeks, and while my other colleagues were actually doing that, I was suddenly appointed to a whole amount of unexpected task. I didn't even see the days pass, I was tired and in serious lack of sleep. One of the reasons (or rather excuses..*blush*) for not maintaining my blog..

Well finally I didn't reach the end of my 4th-week haut les mains. Things started worsening as from Sunday last, when I was at some people's place, and I didn't appreciate their comments (I'll not go into details, but it had nothing to do with my hair) and that irritated me.

Then, on Monday... I took out one, then another.. I had like 3 hair pulled out that day. Worse, on Tuesday, although I still had that huge amount of work to do, I took out like 10 hair. I confess that I even thought about the blog, the therapy and everything, but my mistake was perhaps not to go back to those first days and read why I wanted to stop.

I'm irritatingly sensitive, and I absolutely can't take comments from others lightly, and I go over them, again and again. Those things from the week end got me all worked-up and Tuesday it was then, when I had the biggest rechute for a month now. 10 hair is much for the point in the therapy that I had reached. I haven't forgived myself for it yet, and I know I disappointed my darl a lot.

So after Tuesday, I removed 2-3 hair/day and yesterday, Friday, I removed 2. It's not as catastrophic as one month back, but still.. I'll do like a very amazing girl, ex-ttm, told me, I'll not be too harsh on myself, not look for perfection, and focalise on positive moments, reward myself for them. A good gathering-up of myself is required :)